Suffering

“My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees. Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver. You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word. I know O LORD, that your regulations are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it. Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.” Psalm 119:71-76

Recently I was doing a common household chore when I felt pain in my right upper arm. Intense pain told me I had either pulled or strained a muscle. My dominant arm was so weak I could barely lift it, and that not without increased discomfort. The only position of comfort was to hold it close to my chest. I sent out a prayer request, and prayed while I popped a Tylenol, lay down and positioned an ice pack on my arm.

Why did this happen, Lord? And the verse came to mind. Your suffering caught your attention. Here I was, comfortable only when my right arm was tight to my chest. It reminded me that Jesus holds us close to his heart.

“He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.” Isaiah 40:11

When we are in difficult circumstances the best place to be is close to Jesus, so close we can hear his heart beat in every word. I love you.* I am your rock and shield.* No weapon formed against you will prosper.* Do not fear.* Let my peace fill you.* Be patient.* Think on what is true, right, pure, worthy of praise.* In everything give thanks, for this is my will.* I will never leave or forsake you.* I didn’t come to condemn you, but to save you.* Nothing can separate you from my love.* I will feed you, I will carry you close to my heart.*

Abba Father, thank you for who you are and all you do to teach us to know you more. We love you. Thank you, Jesus, for being the Way. Keep us close to your heart. Lead us, and let your unfailing love comfort us, just as you have promised.

by Marilyn Allison

Scripture Heart Beats:

Jeremiah 31:3; John 3:16
2 Samuel 22:3
Isaiah 54:17
2 Timothy 1:7
Philippians 4:7; Colossians 3:15
James 5:7
I Thessalonians 5:18
Hebrews 13:5
John 3:17
Romans 8:39
Isaiah 40:11

Trusting God Through the Storms of Life

“I had a fall,” my mother’s voice announced over the phone. It was just before the weekend I had planned for my husband, Michael, and me––a romantic anniversary getaway to Hermosa Beach. Mom lived in Ohio near my two brothers who checked in on her. I visited her whenever I could. She had always sugar-coated her falls and was the “bounce-back kid,” so I was not too worried. She lived at home, liked it that way, and resisted us having anyone come to the house to help.

“I’m coming to see you soon, Mom,” I assured her. “Where’s Dan and John?” My thoughts returned to the weekend.

Michael suffered from ALS (aka Lou Gehrig’s disease). I had been caring for him the past two years, watching him get weaker, losing the use of his legs. This trip would probably be the last time we’d be able to go to the beach together. I wanted him to see the ocean, to feel the sun on his face, to remember happy romantic times.

The nice bellmen at the hotel helped me transfer him to his wheelchair and settled us in our room. I took him out to the Hermosa Beach Pier, and we spent the afternoon watching the waves as I kept his hand in mine. On Sunday, John called.

“Mom’s not doing well. She’s in the hospital.” I ended the conversation with my brother and called my daughter. Lindsay rushed to the hotel and helped me gather Michael and our things. She followed us home, where I quickly re-packed and arranged for Michael’s round-the-clock care. I needed to be with my mom.

As I arrived at my brother’s house paramedics were wheeling Mom into the guest bedroom. She would have hospice care. It was April, and she was 92. She smiled at me and I kissed her cheek, trying not to sob. My mom––my rock––was dying. Soon she was sleeping peacefully, no longer conscious.

My brother lives in the country. We felt the gentle breezes flow through the house, looked out over the corn fields and prayed, feeling almost numb. How could this be? Our mother was leaving us? Pastor Brian, from the church we grew up in, came to counsel and pray with us. Three days later, Mom was gone.

It is hard to describe the following days. Lost would be a good word, or disbelief. The approaching Mother’s Day would be very hard, but Lindsay was with me and we went through the motions. She had lost her grandma, the one who made cookies, the one who let her and her sister, Ashley, play for hours with the jewelry in her jewelry box. She was our light, our rock, and now she was gone.

When I returned home as full-time caregiver for Michael, it was so hard to get up the strength. “How am I going to do this, Lord?” Tears of grief flowed and then, I heard his gentle voice in my soul. “I am your Rock,” he said. “I am your Rock.” So I pressed in, leaning on the Lord like never before. “Give me strength, dear God,” was my daily cry. Little did I know how much I would need Him.

Michael increasingly weakened. I finally had to put him into an assisted living care facility with hospice backup. That was June. As September rolled around, my strong handsome husband, a marathon runner, a blackbelt in karate, was skin and bones. One Saturday I held his hand while he slept all day. By God’s strength, I held it until it turned cold.

If it wasn’t for God in my life, I don’t know how I would have made it. This September will be three years since Michael passed away, and it was three years this past April that I also had to say good-bye to my mom. God is my rock, and the verses I hold dear still today are:

“I will love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength in whom I will trust.” Psalm 18:1-2

Each day, God gives me the strength to keep walking forward. My sorrows have turned to joy as I turn to him. I have two beautiful daughters and two wonderful grandkids. God has even brought wonderful new friends into my life, and––while I have lost two of my beloved cats––I still have my one white cat, Lucy, whose name means “light.”

God never promised us life would be easy, but if we are willing to keep on walking with him, there are easier days ahead, as well as days filled with joy, and endless possibilities.

By Anne Mount

Good Judgment and Knowledge

“You have done many good things for me, LORD, just as you promised. I believe in your commands; now teach me good judgment and knowledge.” Psalm 119:65-66

In meditating on this scripture today, I began to wonder about the sequence of the psalmist’s request … teach me good judgment and knowledge. My mind thinks in strange circles for my immediate thought was, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Does the chicken that lays the egg come before the egg from which the chicken came?

In the same way, I asked myself, can I have good judgment without first gaining knowledge with which to make good judgments? One doesn’t necessarily follow the other. We’ve probably all known someone who was forever “hitting the books,” filling their minds with knowledge, then coming off as “know-it-alls,” displaying such knowledge in a prideful manner. Having only knowledge, but not understanding what it means or how to use it, is a waste. It makes us vulnerable to believing lies. It can even get us so off track that we embrace doctrines Jesus never taught.

As an example, an acquaintance of mine has become fixated on one word he claims never meant what “the church” says Jesus taught. His fastidious study to disprove a concept has developed a doctrine that embraces other false issues. In the process he has lost sight of Jesus.

“Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 2 Timothy 3:7 (KJV)

Jesus wants us to learn of him. He is the true teacher, the one who will take knowledge from our heads to our hearts and reveal the truth.

“Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:29

The King James Version uses the word “meek’ for humble. When we are meek, we have a teachable heart, one that is willing to receive the truth God would impart. We want to study scripture, not to know about Jesus, but to know him. That one word, “about,” keeps us at arms’ length from him. It keeps us outside the arc of intimately knowing him.

As we study God’s word, may it be with teachable hearts, willing to listen to his perspective, not trying to make it fit our own understanding. Knowledge under the leading of the Holy Spirit leads to wisdom which leads to good judgment. The end result is God gets the glory, not me … not you.

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”
2 Timothy 2:7 (KJV)

By Marilyn Allison

And Be Thankful

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12-13

I woke up with at least 5 things on my mind as soon as I opened my eyes. Busy, distracted and unfocused my mind filled with worry about this one or admonished myself because of that thing I forgot to do. I prayed, “Dear Lord, I want to stop this Merry Go Round I’m on but don’t know how.” Am I alone in feeling this way? The answer to my prayer was this section of scripture:

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. and be thankful.” Colossians 3:15

True peace comes only through Jesus, the kind of peace that slows down that out of control feeling and changes it into a heart full of thanksgiving. I read on:

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:16

Like a cooling rain or a soothing balm the words of scripture refresh and renew. The natural reaction is a heart that becomes thankful for this respite and then worships and praises Jesus our Lord. As I thanked God, out went the anxiousness of trying to be everything for everybody – out went the confusion of complicated relationships – in came thankfulness, compassion and forgiveness. Above all the love of God was poured into me so I can start today with:

First: Jesus Christ (Remember who I am in Him).
Second: His word (Reading scripture to strengthen my faith and to know Him more).
Third: Forgiveness (I am forgiven completely and His word re-enforces that truth).
Fourth: Thanksgiving (How can I not be thankful?)

My life doesn’t depend on what I’ve done but what Jesus did! The overflowing love of God is with me whether I’m spinning on a Carousel or sitting at His feet.

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14

Let the Lord save you from the overabundance of triviality and noise in your life. Get off your merry-go-round and give the Lord the mess of superficial banalities that dull our senses to what is truly important and can send our lives spinning. Let His word heal you, bring back into focus what is really important and don’t forget to be thankful.

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

by Eve Montano

It's Never Too Late

“He shall call upon me, and I will answer him;” Psalm 91:15a

He didn’t ask me to tuck him in last night.

I heard the click of his light and waited for the invitation. Silence. Why wasn’t my Eli calling for me?

Maybe he’s praying, or stretching, or reading with a book light? Was something wrong?!

I’ll tell you what’s wrong. My boy is growing up. And I’m not ready.

I crept out of bed and peeked into his room. He looked longer, his jaw a bit wider, with those man-boy feet (now bigger than mine) sticking out from under his Star Wars blanket,

“Are you okay? You didn’t call me to ‘Kentucky’ you in…”

He opened his eyes, cracking a smile. Had he lost all his baby teeth?

“Oh, my goodness! You’re freaking out, I just thought it was too late to call you.” He laughed. Apparently, my mama-meltdown was hilarious.

But something squeezed at my heart, “Never. It’s never too late. You can always call me!”

And just like that, I realized my longing to be understood was much like my Heavenly Father’s. How many times had he sung the same ancient truth over my life … “It’s never too late, you can always call on me.”

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer you; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I” (Psalm 145:18 NIV).

Being a mother reminds me I’m made in the image of God. Although the love I feel for my kiddos is a teeny glimpse of His love for us, there’s nothing on earth more consuming and eternal than God himself. It’s that big. At times, when I’m desperate for my son to hear my words, God confirms he feels the same way about me. His Spirit pleads, “Why aren’t you calling on me, daughter?”

He’s listening at the door of my heart while I sit in the dark, cold and unsure. Always present, but desiring me to utter his name, to invite him to turn on the light. But, I make excuses … I’ve waited too long … my need is too great, or—the most dangerous … my need is too small.

What areas of your life do you hold back from God’s loving comfort? In what space do you prefer him not to come? Where have you cuddled under the lie, “My longing is too insignificant for him to care?” Push these things aside. They’re smothering your access to child-like faith. All we need to do is, cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.”

P.S. I reserve the right to tuck my “babies” into bed as long as they live under my roof. I’m fairly certain it’s in the Constitution somewhere…or a Dr. Suess book. Either way.

by Jenna Masters