Never Alone

"And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:20b

I found these words in an old journal:

June 2010
I could close my eyes, take a breath and what I think and feel is this--a deep yearning, a stirring of love; pure, full of color and texture; melody making my heart thump, feet tap, overflowing joy, peace that feels like warm sun shining on my skin, warming me from my head to my toes. That warmth doesn't stop there. It penetrates into my innermost parts. I feel I must take off my shoes because I’m on holy ground. I can't pray fast enough. My words and even my prayer language do not adequately express what I feel, and I surely can't write fast enough. Even now, trying to gather my thoughts to express the depth of love and thankfulness for my Heavenly Father, I can’t find adequate words."

As I read these words I remember the moment I wrote them--it was when I had to put my mother in a Care Facility because of her Alzheimer’s. Everything I could do for her had been stripped away. I had to entrust her to the care of others. I literally fell on my face crying. The words of this Scripture impressed themselves on my heart:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."
Proverbs 3:5 & 6

It was then that I started to thank God for my mother and His love for her. I couldn’t find the words to pray, but His Spirit found the words for me.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words."
Romans 8:26

I well remember that day, and the hundreds of others, when God showed me His love for my mother and for me. I hope those of you who read this, who are going through the same fears and doubts I had--or have a loved one going through cancer or loss--will be encouraged to trust God even when you feel absolutely helpless. God is nearer than you think and He hears your broken heart.

"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
Isaiah 41:13

by Eve Montano