What Price is Friendship?

What Price is Friendship?

“For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.”
Philippians 1:21

A writer friend of mine recently published a book that basically helps one deal with toxic friendships.* The identity of these friendships is based on the seven sins God hates.

“There are six things the LORD hates—no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.” Proverbs 6:16-18

This subject sparked some lively conversations last weekend. Toxic friendships are those which threaten to use, control, diminish, and/or defeat us in some way. (Reminds me of the ‘thief’ who doesn’t come for the good of the sheep, but comes to steal, kill and destroy—John 10:10.)

As I thought about my own history of having—and being—friends, the Lord kept bringing Philippians 1:21 to mind. Living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.

Paul wrote that, so I look to him as my example (knowing that he followed Christ). To be sure, he wasn’t referring to friendships when God dictated that thought to him. He was talking about having expended his life for Christ and his readiness to die and be with him. But he knew it was better for him to stay alive and encourage the believers in a very dark time.

At this point Paul had been a follower of Christ for almost thirty years. He was an old man. He’d followed Christ to “the wilderness school of discipleship.” The following years he’d ministered with Barnabas, John Mark, Silas, Timothy, Luke, Priscilla and Aquila, among so many unnamed others. He’d been beaten and imprisoned—and there was more of the same to come.

How did he model relationships? He prayed and interceded for them (Philippians 1:4), encouraged them (verse 6), loved on them (verse 8), and admonished them in the way of right living (verse 10-11). He praised God for using his circumstances—good or bad—to further the gospel.

He knew he followed a path that risked death, yet he was confident by living for Christ he would not be ashamed of the gospel. His aim, whether he lived or died, was to bring honor to Jesus Christ.

I, too, seek to be a follower of Jesus and bring him honor. What does this mean for me?

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

Turn from my selfish ways…give up trying to control relationships and circumstances in favor of bringing honor to Jesus. I need Jesus to be my intimate friend. When he is enough for me, when he meets my need for close friendship, then I can be the kind of friend Paul was—an encourager.

In a later chapter Paul admonishes the believers to humble themselves and think of others as better than themselves. He’s not advocating being a doormat. Our example is Jesus, who humbled himself by going to the cross. He wasn’t mankind’s doormat. He did it for a purpose—the joy of offering salvation to you and me.

God has a purpose he yearns to fulfill in each of us. It takes dying to self and living for Jesus.

by Marilyn Allison

*The Seven Deadly Friendships”
by Mary DeMuth

Paper Weight

Paper Weight

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”
Hebrews 12:1

I have papers—the record of our plan to internationally adopt—filed, stuffed, and strategically tucked away…much like the grief attached to them.

I have official binders of completed Home Studies—one for Ghana, one for Domestic. Another folder is filled with the remnants of our Ethiopia dossier.

Love letters addressed, “To Our baby from Africa, From Big Sister Ciana,” randomly skydive out of shelves when I tug at a book. It’s routine for me to tenderly tuck them back in the crevice from which they escaped. It’s routine for me to cry as I do it.

God pressed my heart yesterday,

Why are you keeping all these papers?
Papers have no power.

I struggle releasing hope that the International Adoption Program in Ghana will re-open. What if it does? Even if I made gazillion copies of these documents…they’re all expired.

Yet, there’s no expiration date on hope.

Don’t hoard what could’ve been. It takes up valuable spiritual space.

Stop asking, “Lord, what-if…”

When God called the Israelites to enter the Promise land, he told them…

“You have stayed long enough at this mountain.” (Deuteronomy 1:6)

It was time to move forward to the new place God had prepared; A land of hope. If you’re familiar with the story, they had major trouble trusting in God’s promise. They’d rather be literal Slaves in Egypt than to trust God’s call to move forward.

We all do this. We make ourselves slaves to the past. We’re terrified God doesn’t have a better way. So we remain on timed-out mountain-tops and needlessly wander the wilderness.

His word reminds us,

“As for God, his way is perfect” (Psalm 18:30)

Start asking, “Lord, what now?”

If we don’t, we may miss the new thing God has for us.

“ See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:19

Snapshots of the past 5 years have, indeed, looked like a spiritual trudge through waste land. I want to perceive new things God is springing up in my life. Physical things can clutter the halls of our spiritual house. I’m making room. But it’s not easy.

I couldn’t bring myself to throw all the papers away. I’m constantly handing my heart over for God to complete his work in me. However, I did consolidate them and move them into a garage space. Now they can’t ambush my peace. I’ll revisit them only if God calls me to.

God has faithfully held me as I’ve mourned on this mountain for a season. But I’ve been here long enough. It’s time to follow him to new territory.

Honestly, there’s still sorrow in the descent.

Honestly, I have no clear vision of where he’s leading.

I do know it’s a land of hope.

I do know—in order for him to make a “new way”—he’s asked me to move all the papers off the path.

by Jenna Masters

A Glimpse of Glory

A Glimpse of Glory

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” Matthew 25:40

Two weeks ago, in our Thursday morning Bible Study, Erin Swanson challenged us to be bold, leave our comfort zone, and ask a stranger if they would like to “Pray to receive Christ as their personal savior.” My heart was pierced with anxiety at the thought of walking up to a total stranger and saying those words. And if they said “yes” would I have the right words to pray the most soul-redeeming prayer?

I never thought of myself as an evangelist—teacher, prayer warrior, helper, yes, but evangelist? So as I dashed to my car after study, my one thought was to get to McDonalds for a quick snack and be on time for my weekly volunteer commitment at my grandson’s first grade class.

I swung into the parking lot and noticed a very pitiful sight. A very dirty, disheveled woman was rummaging through a grocery cart and setting up an old umbrella for some shade as the day was blistering hot. I could tell it was a woman, but she was so thin, dirty and ragged I couldn’t tell her age.

Erin’s words haunted me.

The Holy Spirit whispered, “Buy her a Happy Meal.”

I responded, I’m in a hurry, I’ve got to be at school in 15 minutes.

“Buy her a Happy Meal.”

I ordered a meal, found a seat, choked down my burger and…stared out at the woman. The Holy Spirit softly, gently, prodded my heart, “Buy her a Happy Meal.” So I got up, ordered the healthiest Happy Meal on the menu and headed outside.

She was under her little umbrella, bent over her cart as I walked up. “Are you hungry?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

I handed her the sack and she put it in her cart on top of the pile of…stuff.

My years as Assistant Director at a women’s shelter kicked in. What homeless people need—and never get—is face to face human contact. Eye contact. A touch from another human being.

I huddled close to her under her umbrella, leaned into her and said, ”Would you like to pray to receive Christ as your personal Savior?”

She answered, “I did that a long time ago.”

I reached for her hand and covered it with both of mine. She asked me to pray for her.

I can’t even remember exactly what I said because the Spirit was coursing through my veins, giving me the words. The only thing I actually remember saying is, “Lord let this precious woman be a reminder to everyone who sees her of how much we need You.”

Then the strangest thing happened. I opened my eyes, looked into hers, and beheld a glowing pale blond halo of beautiful hair and two of the clearest blue eyes I have ever seen. Neither of us said anything. I smiled and said, “God bless you,” and walked back to my car dazed, filled with the most supernatural Joy. I floated the rest of the day.

I’ve been back since then because it’s the same McDonalds where I take my little guys after school for ice cream cones. I haven’t seen her again. I still think of her every day and pray for her.

How did she end up homeless and alone? Or was she an angel sent to bless me with a glimpse of Glory? Her beautiful face still shines in my head.

I’m so grateful the Lord prompted me to step outside my comfort zone and obey what He clearly told me to do. I experienced His presence, His power and His joy in an unexpected, unforgettable, supernatural way.

Thank you Lord, thank you Erin, thank you beautiful, sweet homeless woman.

by Cindy Snelling

To Know Him is to Love Him

To Know Him is to Love Him

In the quiet of the morning, I opened my bible and flipped through its thin pages to the book of Philippians—the book of joy. My fingers slowly traced the apostle’s words looking for treasure. I read, over and over again, the first chapter of Paul’s love letter to the church at Philippi. It was inspired by his affection for God’s people and his enthusiasm to both magnify Jesus Christ and his reason for his imprisonment. They are one in the same. Paul calls himself a bondservant of Jesus, and he certainly is, both literally and spiritually.

His testimony is riveting and it brings to my mind a promise the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart a few weeks ago as I began my search for joy—

“Joy is found in a deeper understanding of God. Gain wisdom, know joy.”

Excitement rekindled in my heart as I began to uncover what God had for me in this beloved, though familiar book.

I couldn’t help but stop at verses 9 and 10. I must’ve read it a dozen times.

“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ” Philippians 1:9-10

And there it was. The key to joy—love God. As believers, we know this is the first and greatest command. And the second is just like it: love others as yourself.

To love God and love others is the high calling of the Christian. Paul makes this very clear as if Jesus Himself is speaking to the church at Philippi.

I can almost hear him saying, “Yes, I know you love God. That’s wonderful. And I know you love each other. Praise God! You even show your love for those far away. You’ve really got it. But, I want you to love more. Excel in agape.”

Love more. More? Now that’s a noble challenge. But what does that look like? And how can I make myself love Him and others more than I already do?

Without the insight of God’s Spirit we can only imagine what love is—what it looks like—and how it ought to feel. To know God and love like Him is absolutely impossible without a renewed mind.

Paul illustrates this very thing in the book of Titus:

“For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior. Titus 3:3-6

Then it all began to make sense. I sat there amazed by this simple, yet powerful insight: to love God and people requires God. And to love God and people more requires more of God.

Oh, how I relish in the deep truths of God. I think it's called joy.

by Dana Lange

The Evil Three

The Evil Three

“And his brothers envied him, but his father kept the matter in mind.”
Genesis 37:11

Jealousy (which is insecurity), envy (wanting what others have) and coveting (unnatural yearning for possessions) are ugly attitudes. They have the power to destroy faith, wreck marriages, ruin friendships, and turn brother against brother. Envy, jealousy, covetousness—anger—the motivation behind the plan of Joseph's brothers to sell him into slavery.

“So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.” Genesis 37:28

Jealousy stems from insecurity but, Child of God, you have nothing to be insecure about.
However, jealousy is something the devil feeds on and—in this day and age—it’s all around us. We turn on the TV and there it is: the commercial offers beauty and youth in a jar. Open a magazine and there it is: the purse you must have or the perfect woman/man you aspire to look like. What hopelessness these evil three impress on our hearts and minds...our souls.

Integrity, honor, truth, thanksgiving and joy—beautiful words that speak of the nature of God and of the child of the King.

How do we keep ourselves from this onslaught of Satan? We put on the mind of Christ.

“So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.”
1 Peter 1:13

Sounds good, but how do we do that?

Stay in the Word of God and see your worth in God’s eyes.

“Keep me as the apple of Your eye, hide me in the shadow of Your wings.”
Psalm 17:8

Surround yourself with friends who encourage you, who will speak beauty and truth into you. People who seek to build you up in the Lord.

“And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

That third cord—yeah—JESUS.

If you have a problem with any of these three—or you’re tottering at the edge—seek help. Don’t try to beat it on your own. Pray—ask Jesus to direct you to the right person.

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that you are not alone.
Never alone—

“The mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but it is now disclosed to the Lord's people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:26-27

There is nothing in this world that is not going to decay, burn or go the way of all man. So don't waste your time, money or desires on things that won't last.

“You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” Ephesians 5:5

by Eve Montano